In the past two weeks, I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. I’ve been through many new experiences and already learned or am in the process of learning many new things. Below are just a few new mom-isms I’ve discovered:
The first night we were alone with Miss Lily, I laid in bed listening to the monitor, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Did that sigh mean she was suffocating? Did that cough mean she was choking to death? Did the silence mean she was no longer breathing? Finally, after 45 minutes, I hopped out of bed and raced into the nursery to make sure Lily was alright. Of course, she was just fine and I realized how ridiculous I was being.
However, the moment I re-entered our room, Ryan sat straight up and asked where I had been. I sheepishly said that I checked to make sure Lily was breathing, and he replied “thank god she is ok, I have been laying here scared to death something would go wrong tonight!” Glad I’m not the only panicking parent!
Why are all these drivers driving so fast? Are they trying to hurt my baby? Why is that stranger staring at us as we walk by in the stroller? Is he wanting to steal my baby?
What is that on my baby’s bottom? Is it a pimple? Diaper rash? Some extremely rare disease that the pediatrician missed?
Why doesn’t Lily want to eat exactly like the books tell me she should be eating? Is she starving to death? Why is she crying? Is she unhappy or am I doing something wrong that will cause her to be in therapy in 20 years?
And I thought worrying through the pregnancy was bad…..
Ok, I will admit it – I am a control freak. And I’m trying hard to remain aware of this fault of mine. When it comes to Lily, my immediate reaction to most situations is that I can soothe her, calm her, feed her, bathe her, etc better than anyone….including her daddy. I am learning to let go, allowing him to handle her in his own way - which may be very different from the way I would handle it - and realize that my way might not be the only, or even the best, way. But it’s hard….and I’m still working on it.
How long do these extreme hormones last???? I can go from cold to hot within two seconds and at night it seems to be at its worst! I wake up completely drenched, feeling like I just ran a marathon in 100% humidity and 95 degree temps. Crazyness!
These past two weeks have been full of a few stressful, sometimes scary, often hilarious, always wonderful, moments. And we are enjoying each and every day with Miss Lily.
Because I can’t help but include photos, here you go….