In a couple of my previous posts, I have made a few running references, and while this might seem insignificant, running is a huge part of my life and has been for years. Some of my closest friends come from running - from high school cross country and track, to losing that freshman fifteen running with my sorority sisters, and now running with an all-gal's group on Saturday mornings.
I look forward all week to meeting my group on Saturday for our long runs - it's my free therapy session in which all topics of conversation are free game. From venting about work, to complaining about our husbands' bad habits of leaving laundry on the floor (seriously honey, the laundry basket is the blue plastic thing in your closet!), to sharing your goals, hopes, dreams and fears. There is something intimate about running - maybe it's the adrenaline, or the endorphins, or maybe it's the fact that we spend three hours struggling through a 22 miler and talking takes our minds off the pain. I spend more time with the girls I meet each Saturday (and sometimes Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday!) than I do with my 'best friends', and sometimes even more than my own husband and family. Running is my passion, a huge joy in my life, and also allows me to eat that extra cookie and glass of wine!
So I am struggling with a few things as I wrap up month five of this pregnancy - all of them sounding very selfish to me. First, I am struggling with the fact that I am slowing down and running is becoming so much harder - even though I know it's for an amazing reason, and it's good for Baby O for me to take it easy. I worry that I am slowing down and won't be able to run with the 'fast' girls in my group once I get back in shape. But even harder, I am struggling with what feels like a loss of myself - I identify myself as a "runner" - it's been such a huge part of my life for so many years, and over the past few weeks I've felt like it's slowly slipping away. I worry that after Baby O is here, many sacrifices will need to be made, and running takes time that I wouldn't be able to, or want to, spend away from my family. I worry that the running portion of my life might be over.
However, I believe that each sacrifice I will make after the arrival of Baby O will be worth it. I also know that I have an incredibly supportive husband, who has travelled the country with me for races, not been too irritated when I head out in negative wind chills and icy conditions, and who will continue to support me in my passion as our family expands. And I believe that continuing to run post-Baby O will make me a better mom, wife, and friend. So I have to believe that sometime in the future, though maybe slower and a few pounds heavier, I will be back out there on the roads with my girls once again attending those Saturday morning therapy sessions.
Grilled Mini Meat Loaves
3 years ago
7 comments:
Lindsay
kids do change our outlook on things, thats for sure-a supportive husband is key i think!! you'll make a great momma!1
gina
Don't worry! Things will change but for the better. You will just adapt! Get a great jogging stroller and toss Baby girl in there. Sutton loves his! Your little girl will add so much more to your life you will have a hard time thinking what it was like before her arrival! Ryan will be great, running will be your "time" and it will also be his special "time" with the baby! Brian loves to go do things with Sutton when I run! The first few months you will settle into a routine! I have faith you will still be way faster than me!
I can see this as being something that i would worry about too someday, so it's especially interesting for me to read about your experiences. It's hard to pull back on the reins and slow down, but you can always serve as group cheerleader and watergirl :) Just think, in a few years, you and little O can do fun runs together! And I'm sure Ryan will have no problem hanging out in his 'man room' and teaching her about football while you get back into your running routine.
Linds, it is true that your life is going to change and it will be for the better. It will be better because not only will you have a little girl to take care of, you will also be able to run with the girls. You will have more than just running to define you! It may be a little while before you get back into the swing of things but it will happen.
Use your resources! You have Ryan - the greatest to-be Dad in the world! In my case, I had you - don't you remember strolling Mallory around (and around) the City of Sabetha's OLD gym, while I did my exercise class???
From my experience, if you don't take care of yourself and do something that makes you happy, you can't take care of others. Yes, the hard part is finding the time but like others have said use your resources. Ryan will be more then capable to take care of Baby O for two to three hours by himself.
I know you - you will back out there running harder and faster than ever. And I know Ryan - he will do whatever he can to make sure that you can take your morning runs. And you always have your friends around, I'll come over and watch Baby O any Saturday morning you need or Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday night. I loved this raw and honest post though and think you are right on with your insight!
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